You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
