Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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