god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
