I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
