yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
