Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
