oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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