You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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