what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
