I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
