Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
