Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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