my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
