Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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