the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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