This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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