she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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