So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
