somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
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