Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
