Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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