My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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