Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
