Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
