I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
