I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
