we have officially lost it.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
