I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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