Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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