O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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