kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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