There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
