i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
