don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
its not stalking. its research.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
