Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Randomize
