Already got asked if we're dating
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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