Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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