Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
