I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Ladies don't puke and tell
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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