paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
