I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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