thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
