just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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