Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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