I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
dude. I can hear the air.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
