Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
