i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
bring money and cleavage
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
