I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
