Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
