I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
